the ordeal of staying single...

one of the hardest things in life has to be 'staying single'... especially if you have slipped into the late-twenties & live in a small-town... it's considered almost rude to make a public appearance without a bloke by your side and a kid/two in tow... so, i keep indoors most of the time and get out only early mornings or late evenings to get my daily quota of sunshine/fresh air... my doctor laments that i've grown quite pale... i would've been flattered except that it was another power-cut and there was only a flickering candle in the tiny 'clinic' and there was no way he could have distinguished me from sun-burn-tanned or anaemic-pale...

but when i meet friends, especially the ones who've already thrown in the towel and 'settled down', 'committed' and any of those words that mean the same thing to me, the question pops up... or worse, gets bandied about harmlessly as in..
"hey, guess who recently got engaged??"
"i just went to so-and-so's wedding last month..."
"you are coming to so-and-so's wedding next month, na??"
the bush gets beaten black and blue and finally arrives where i knew it would even before they picked up that stick...
"aur saras, when are you getting married??"

there are times when it does catch me by surprise... and those times i go
"me??" looking around for another saras hopefully
"yeah, you, when are you getting married?? " they spell it out real slowly, like i am retarded...
"why?"
"what do you mean why???"
"why?? i mean exactly that... why would i get married??" seems a perfectly logical question if you ask me.
"well, it's the next step in life. and as your friend i think i should bring you to your senses."
"huh??"

i am not dense... really... in fact, on occasions, i tend to be downright smart... but i am unable to grasp this new found knowledge... "the next logical step??" i had totally missed out on that... i didnt know life had logical steps... damn! i didnt even know life had anything to do with logic... it seems quite hap-hazard to me! and his claims about being my friend seemed really far-fetched too... sure, we had a few common classes when in college about five years ago... and i have met him about twice since then... including this enlightening, interrogatory meeting...

the most dangerous territory to be caught in for the likes of me is another wedding... i feel like a cornered animal in a jungle... and not dressed to run either... yards and yards of cloth, even shimmering silk, draped precariously is not the ideal choice of athletes for a reason...
so, i miss them... and then come up with excuses... i wait a while... a month for some, a financial quarter for most... but for one particular case, i had to wait 1.5years before i even called her...females are so unforgiving! i still haven't met her... but that's just a string of co-incidences... next time i'm in her town, i'm definitely meeting her...

you wouldnt' believe the excuses i have had to come up with in the past... some of them, i'm quite proud of...
" i went to turkey, the country, not the bird/towel.... the noun, not verb"
" i got the address wrong and went to delhi instead"
" i promise i'll come to the next one!"
that last one's gotten me into more trouble than it was worth making it up...

if you've gotten this far... i am really, really sorry if i missed your wedding... i promise it won't happen again... :) :)
if you still want to kill me, get in line... :)