stars, galaxies, time...

Disclaimer: the following thoughts are my own and written under no external duress. people reading it are forewarned of the possible cranial damage. I do NOT accept any responsibility for the medical implications.

my thoughts wander... but usually around the latest topic that i've been reading... it's hard to figure them out usually, more so when i've been reading more than one unrelated topics... especially if the combination includes 'a brief history of time', a mills & boon-i-dont-remember-the- name-of and 'satanic verses'...

somehow everything seems so insignificant(book I)... if the universe is so big, and earth so small and insignificant, and we so much more smaller(me being smaller than average doesnt help... :-( ) it seems ridiculous to go about putting in so much effort into something that is so ephemeral... it's impossible to know if a tiny atom is really where we think it is... and we try to plan what we're gonna do in 5years! btw, that is one of my least-liked questions in an interview... going back to more 'universal' matters... stars... galaxies... blackholes... time...

i cant imagine the beginning of time no matter how hard i stretch my imagination... (which is pretty elastic... ) just a flash and our lives are done... some might say that that's a pretty depressing way to see life(for all i care (yawn))... but there's another view... if life is so inconsequential, things that weigh you down seem a little lighter... maybe things that worry me so much aren't worth all that time and concern anyway...(of course they're not... they go away as soon as i have my missed meal...) anything that went wrong doesnt seem to matter so bad...

i'm just trying to find explanations probably... i hate it when i cant understand something... i like being on solid ground and when something evades my understanding it's as though there's just frail glass beneath me and a gloomy abyss... and i'm not sure how long it's gonna hold...

it's weekend... ethnic day... 'supposed' to come in a saree... so i came in my brightest red cargoes... it's almost childish and i know that... but worth it... ;-) others make rules so i get to bend/break them... after all, there's a need for balance in the ecosystem...;-) and without me, the cluttered rules wouldn't leave any space for new rules...

enough rambling... got tons of work to do right now... :-(