overload...

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for someone terrified of heights, i've fallen quite a bit... an acrophobic person ought to stay low...
when on ground i long to climb... when i do, i'm afraid of falling... again, i've fallen more than my fair share so it's a perfectly good fear to have... but once fallen, i get up and climb again... whatever my brain's wired for, it certainly doesn't seem like survival...  and since i'm equally good at climbing and falling, i've seen many views, distant, nearby, pretty, pretty ugly... but from that height, it's hard to find something not interesting... everything seems so... new!... i've a child's appetite for newness... and the same capacity for boredom... so many things to grow out of... it must have been all the junk food my folks forgot to feed me...

this month has been full of news'es... mostly good... it's unsettling to have so many good news'es deluge you... it gets you so high you keep looking down to see how far you might fall... i have a morbid way of thinking of all the things that can go wrong... that way, i can brace myself for it when i have to make the jump... do you know that the most common dream is 'being chased'.... hearing that in the healthy environment of a psychology lecture immensely set my troubled mind at rest... i like those little confirmations of my sanity now and then...

so now, i'm on a high cliff... there's still a lot more to go... like that poem
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.